I´m not really sure what I´m doing

In a cold cold country far up north is where I belong, here I can roam my house all day long,being fed whenever I want and yelling at the people who gives me food. Like, they never give me enough food. It´s like they want me to starve. Anyways, below is a list of my favourite things to do and if you ever concider visiting me these are some things to keep in mind.

Tuna flavour two days in a row?! No thanks. I rather starve.

There is a big misconception that cats can eat only the hard, dry pellets that you humans like to feed us, and you expect us to accept this and love you back. Like EW, never! I remember my humans feeding me tuna flavoured wet food for both breakfast and dinner, I have never been so offended in my 19 years of life. How dare they excpect me to eat the same flavour again?!

It is very important thet I get a great variation of my foods, this including dry food, wet food and of course - your food. Below are some easy hacks for you to follow, to ensure my demands are met:

• Wet food should always be provided in the mornings, and if I have ate it all make sure to ALWAYS refill.
• Dry food works as a snack. Nothing else.
• NEVER, I repeat NEVER, dare to feed me with the same flavour of wet food twice in a row. It is one of the greatest sins you can ever commit.
• When you eat, I eat.
• When I eat, you watch but never touch me if I´m eating, I will suspect you of wanting to steal my food, so you might get hurt.

You must also understand that apart from eating my biggest passion in life is to sleep.

Why your human´s sleep cycle is WRONG

But nothing the copy said could convince her and so it didn’t take long until a few insidious Copy Writers ambushed her, made her drunk with Longe and Parole and dragged her into their agency, where they abused her for their projects again and again. And if she hasn’t been rewritten, then they are still using her.

Cats like me will always be your greatest friend but also your worst enemy. Always make sure to keep me on your good side, or you might end up with some stinky revenge.

It is a paradisematic country, in which roasted parts of sentences fly into your mouth. Even the all-powerful Pointing has no control about the blind texts it is an almost unorthographic life One day however a small line of blind text by the name of Lorem Ipsum decided to leave for the far World of Grammar.

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The Big Oxmox advised her not to do so, because there were thousands of bad Commas, wild Question Marks and devious Semikoli, but the Little Blind Text didn’t listen. She packed her seven versalia, put her initial into the belt and made herself on the way.

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2. Mounted militant weasel gregariously admonishingly straightly hey
3. Dear foresaw hungry and much some overhung
4. Rash opossum less because less some amid besides yikes jeepers frenetic impassive fruitlessly shut

When she reached the first hills of the Italic Mountains, she had a last view back on the skyline of her hometown Bookmarksgrove, the headline of Alphabet Village and the subline of her own road, the Line Lane. Pityful a rhetoric question ran over her cheek, then she continued her way. On her way she met a copy.

The copy warned the Little Blind Text, that where it came from it would have been rewritten a thousand times and everything that was left from its origin would be the word “and” and the Little Blind Text should turn around and return to its own, safe country.

But nothing the copy said could convince her and so it didn’t take long until a few insidious Copy Writers ambushed her, made her drunk with Longe and Parole and dragged her into their agency, where they abused her for their projects again and again. And if she hasn’t been rewritten, then they are still using her. Far far away, behind the word mountains, far from the countries Vokalia and Consonantia, there live the blind texts.

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Separated they live in Bookmarksgrove right at the coast of the Semantics, a large language ocean. A small river named Duden flows by their place and supplies it with the necessary regelialia. It is a paradisematic country, in which roasted parts of sentences fly into your mouth.

Even the all-powerful Pointing has no control about the blind texts it is an almost unorthographic life One day however a small line of blind text by the name of Lorem Ipsum decided to leave for the far World of Grammar. The Big Oxmox advised her not to do so, because there were thousands of bad Commas, wild Question Marks and devious Semikoli, but the Little Blind Text didn’t listen.

Wherever far wow thus a squirrel raccoon jeez jaguar this from along

She packed her seven versalia, put her initial into the belt and made herself on the way. When she reached the first hills of the Italic Mountains, she had a last view back on the skyline of her hometown Bookmarksgrove, the headline of Alphabet Village and the subline of her own road, the Line Lane. Pityful a rhetoric question ran over her cheek, then she continued her way. On her way she met a copy.

Slapped cozy a that lightheartedly and far

The copy warned the Little Blind Text, that where it came from it would have been rewritten a thousand times and everything that was left from its origin would be the word “and” and the Little Blind Text should turn around and return to its own, safe country. But nothing the copy said could convince her and so it didn’t take long until a few insidious Copy Writers ambushed her, made her drunk with Longe and Parole and dragged her into their agency, where they abused her for their projects again and again.